In my country, Indonesia, some people are still strict about having a date meaning that they will set boundaries on the very first dates. No kiss, no hug, just talk. I was curious, then, how many skeletons in modern days remain to stand on that thought so I created the following poll:
Dating Rules #2
Case: Everything went well and it’s time to call it a day. At the end of a first date?
- A kiss no worries (48%)
- Not till 2nd date (52%)
Seeing the result, I was a bit surprise as I thought the westernization carries a big impact in the society. Asking two of the participants to validate their vote, below is my interview with both.
This co-founder of an interior design agency named Arkita in Jakarta, Dennis Allendick believes to not have any physical touch on a first date. “To me, first date is an observation, no intention of sensual intimacy. When I decide to ask a women for a first date it means I want something serious so I don’t want to ruin it by having such impulsive gesture.”
A solid perspective it is, I wondered if (in another case) the woman made the first move and he said, “I would be really annoyed if a woman did that. It turns me off somehow to be rushed by the tendency. If everything works well on a first date, I will tell her honestly –by showing happy face, that I have a good time with her and feel the chemistry. Doing so projects my respect for her.”
On the other hand, Karen Audrey, a Merchandiser of a fashion brand in Jakarta, states a different standpoint as she supports the idea of ‘A Kiss No Worries’. “If something like that to happen, there’s supposed to be a mutual advance and for a kiss to happen it means I’m allowing it to happen. But only if I feel the connection.” She doesn’t mind of a kiss; although it depends on the situation. She might even give him a subtle sign to do that. Well, of course prior to the move she should make sure her date wants to do it but probably too on-guard.
If asked either one to opt, I would go for the first choice. After few dates I have undergone, I think a kiss means that we are both having such a good time. It implicitly seals a deal that us being a good date to each other which concurrently can be considered as compliment. Besides, if you think twice, a kiss does not mean on the lips. It can be on cheeks, forehead or your bare hand. Right?