Aug, 10 2018

Dating Rules #4: Telling If It's Just for Fun or Something Serious

Author Aulia Meidiska

I may have told you hundred times already about how a first date can open all doors to different zones and also shut it down as simple as saying goodnight and goodbye forever. So on a first date, I think it is important to give right impression and to prepare ourselves with so-called strategy. Personally, I think I need to be clear from the very first if someone is interested in me, it is for something serious (read: relationship) or just having fun (read: one night stand, etc.). It means that I can be prepared for the next steps.


However, I wonder how other people may view this perspective so here we go to another #DatingRules poll:


Dating Rules #4

Case: Implying if it is for something serious or just having fun

YES (48%)

NO (52%)


To make it fair, I got two samples of this poll of the population. The first one to give his reason is Putu, a supervisor of a financial agency in Jakarta.


“I am not a good guy, I know. But back to the days when I still played around (note: I am married now), I often scanned the person I dated at the first time. What’s on my mind was if she did not signal me for something serious, I would not continue for something serious, too. So I could treat her all I wanted. But if she told me right away what she wanted: a relationship or a fool-around partner, I would offer what she deserved. So from the first time we did not take the wrong way.


Differently, Maria Restu Paramita, an accountant in a private company in Jakarta states the ‘No’ option saying:


“First date is the time we know each other in a very basic level: “Oh, this guy likes this thing… This is my daily routine, that is his job..”. So it’s the phase of building chemistry and I don’t think I’m ready to say if that is for something serious or not. It’s too soon and apparently slips off the chance my date to turn me down if I say something tentative. I can’t yet make sure on a first date whether the guy I am seeing is a boyfriend material so I can’t classify him to be in which category. It is a grey area to understand if it is for something serious or not.”


She believes it needs longer time to decide if it is just for goofing around or commitment. For her, it is possible that the guy she was dating with jerks her off if she utters an impulsive sign. For example, she tells him she wants something serious and the guy plays along just to get her into something he desires and then leave. That is why it is too tricky to say such thing on a first date. Better not, she suggests.

Both two have good points, don’t you think? Or to be in the middle, you may slightly imply what you want but still precautious for anything out of your expectation. How’s it?