Jan, 12 2019

Relationship 101: What to Avoid for a Healthy Relationship

Author Michelle S. Koeswoyo

Whether you just jumped into the love wagon or had been in the love-train for a while, I bet that you will always want to improve your bond with your partner. For those of you who had been through this a couple of times, you already know by now that your relationship needs to be more than just 'effortless' or 'sweet', it needs to be HEALTHY.


I would never say I'm an expert in the 'relationship' area, but after so many failed ones, I could say I have the perfect resume on what bad relationship looks like. I'm here to give you the tea on what NOT to do in a relationship. So, here's the scoop!


Go to Bed Angry (for days)

When you encounter a problem, big or small, it is best to talk it out until it’s done. Never let the problem linger for days and snowball to an even bigger problem. You wouldn’t want to spend days bottling up so much anger. As boring as it sounds, communication is KEY. Even if you have to stay up until 5 AM in the morning, it is better than feeling like a wreck for a few days straight, right?


Always Bring Up the Past

We’re all guilty on this one, aren’t we? How many times would you bring up your partner’s past mistakes while in an argument? Whatever problem you’re arguing about, it is in the present. Try not to link it on any past events or arguments that you had. From my experience, it will only lead to the worst fights you’d have.


Have the Same (forced) Interest

This happened to me a few times. I tried to mold myself into their likings. Doing the same hobby, listening to the same music, dressing the same style. It is good if it comes naturally, but when you try too hard and start to lose your sense of personality and individuality, then you will know that it isn’t right. You don’t need to like the same things to love each other.


Try to Read Minds

Unless you’re a mutant or a psychic, don’t bother trying to read your partner’s mind! This will make your mind play some tricks on you too. Instead of attempting (so hard) on reading their minds or waiting for them to read yours, all you need to do is just ask and tell. Ask them what’s on their mind and tell them what’s happening on yours.


Make It a Competition

There’s no race in a relationship. Never count anything; who pays for dates the most or who always starts a fight. Remember, you are in this together. You are here to make it work and to compromise. Don’t try to outsmart them or make them feel like a loser. It is a relationship, not a championship.


For all the new lovebirds, I hope these tips will help you maintain a healthy and happy relationship. For those of you that are fighting for a better connection, don’t be discouraged! There’s always room for improvements. Good luck, and stay in love.


Illustration by @febiramdhan


Read more: Dating 101: Stop Doing These on Your First Date