Many drama movies plot a story where the conflict revolves around two people meeting at the wrong time. Lucky for the business, this kind of romance touches numbers of fragile hearts making the industry gains profit. Many people buy the thought of right person at the wrong time or vice versa. Then the perception is brought to live in the reality unconsciously. Lovers start to believe this kind of story exists and soak them in a complicated relationship where they find it difficult to be with the one as s/he is the right person at the wrong time. Some even hold their feeling for this person and later wait for the right time to come, reuniting their love.
I was one of them, really. I used to be someone naive and a believer for such romance, reaching someone I could not have. I was an impulsive girl who needed hugs, kisses and love so much from a guy even he was probably not available at the time. The more it was difficult, the more challenging it was and the more I thought he was the right person at the wrong time.
I had involved in an affair with a person I [actually knew] I would not end up with. I was naive and sort of lived in my own fairytale so I tried to believe he was the right person only we met at the wrong time. But then one day, I expressed my feeling to my best friend and surprisingly she could not agree with me. She said that there is no such thing as ‘The Right Person at The Right Time’. If he is right for you, the time is right, too. If it is not, he is not the right person then.
Struck by this new realization, I slowly diminish the variables. The ultimate formula to consider someone is the one is not only because he is right but both he and the time are right. Right person plus right time equals to The One. There is no bargain on it. No cheaper price. Otherwise, it is just wrong. No right person at wrong time neither wrong person at right time. He is just not the one.
The dilemma here is time. Time is a bitch, Robin Scherbatsky says. Speaking of time is like speaking of the chicken and egg theory: never ending discussion of which comes first. No one knows how to define Time, how it works, why we should name it ‘Time’, why we should have time in our life, and so on. Of all philosophers and great thinkers ever lived, the theory of time goes infinite. So I think we would never know when is the right time of a person arrives in front of our door, knocking to enter and enjoy the party. I sort of believe that our feelings toward someone can change if we don’t plant and grow it well. The right time that we feel at first could confuse us —in time. As well as the right person whom we believe in the beginning of our relationship would have not been anymore —in time.
It is always too soon to claim she or he is the right person because the answer to that is the time itself. Time that can reveal if she or he is right by hundreds of thousands tests. To conclude if someone is right or not need requires a the period than we thought. When the time goes by and the person sticks with you all against odds, your feeling may change through circumstances but you can’t imagine your life without this person. And the limit of understanding s/he is the right person at the right time is not marriage. It is the quality of the relationship you both have.
Someone is the right person at the right time when you never get bored to meet s/he, when you have already been apart but the feelings stick around. When you feel that your life will never be the same if this person disappears and the existence of someone else can never break your gate. And this is not only offered by you but your partner too. Then you are both the right people at the right time for each other.
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Illustration by @signumnobilis