Many [shallow] people understand the next level of getting married is to have a kid. It does not matter if it is only one kid, they must have it. It bugs me very much even when people feel it is necessary to have kids by their own as soon as they got married.
One day I met an old friend in our friend’s wedding. We lost in touch and even never follow each other on social media. She already got married but has not yet had a baby. I expected less questions about my single time as it would not go anywhere of course, but my wish was not granted. It’s typical for many Indonesians in a wedding reception to ask personal questions about when to get married and have kids —which I think it is really rude and unnecessary. Then true to my guts, she is a typical annoying Indonesian. She started our conversation by asking who was my boyfriend and suggesting me not to wait for long to get married. Bluntly I ignored her by telling her it did not matter to me.
Not so long, she still tried to get my attention by filling me in about her not yet getting pregnant. Her husband has expected kids so much and while rubbing her belly she told me her husband often offered to take care of her nephew. Being a nice and understanding human being, I tried to console her saying it’s okay and the expense of having kids nowadays is really high. She got all of her time. Disagreed, she lectured me on how she had to do it ASAP because having a baby later means more expensive.
I was surprised and so sad to hear this coming from an educated person like her. Not only because the reason of her having kids is likely a tradition of a married couple but also how she seems to compete with the time, other couples and the expensive expenses she wants to avoid. This very short story is only a matter of sample of how so many couples in the world think about themselves and perceive the next thing to do after tied the knot is to get pregnant.
Have we put our thought deeper on the overpopulation? Indonesia, particularly, contributes in this world-class issue. Too many abandoned kids, unfortunate kids are being born to this world irresponsibly. A lot of poor parents can not take care their kids well and so leave them with other families. Many children do not have a good education because their parents can’t afford it. Now please tell me, do we really need to bring a new baby born to this world, specifically to our country? What would happen if overpopulation problem will never be solved?
I truly understand how this is not my business at all. It is the decision of those couples to be fathers and mothers at young age. I just feel sorry for those impulsive young couples that think it’s a good idea to have a baby when they do not actually have financial plans for the kids growing up. Ultimately, I pity those young parents who do not have such mental to comprehend how raising children is not only about feeding them having a healthy body but also a healthy mind and mental.
Have we actually ever considered to adopt those unfortunate kids rather than delivering them our own? Have we actually ever considered to be selfless and instead of spending much money on the newly born kids we help those abandoned kids? Furthermore, do we really, really need to have our own kids and close our eyes to the fact that we can help more? Have we actually ever thought that being a parent does not always mean to raise our own?
I know this is a lot to think of. Adopting kids is not a piece of cake neither raising our own baby, no? The point is I feel that the world needs more couples to adopt kids than a newborn baby.
Illustration by Yehezkiel Kurniawan