To pick up someone at a bar may not be our original dating culture. But for some people, especially those who have injected themselves with urban lifestyle (since a long-long time ago) find it rather exciting. If you haven’t tried it or seen it anywhere, it usually goes like this…
You sit in a bar (alone or with friends) when somebody (usually a stranger) finds you attractive. He’d observe you from across the room and then eventually find the time to walk towards you. You may realize this (or not) depends on how aware you are with your surroundings. We can talk about “how to spot on someone who likes you” in a different article. So by this time, you would hear a shy greeting or a very flirtatious pickup line. Of course, what happens next is up to you. You can talk to him, or you can just leave it there.
So lately I’ve been wondering to myself what’s likely to be done when it happens. Furthermore, I wonder if people find it normal to just give their number to a stranger after such an approach. I have done it a couple of times under a few considerations. So to answer my curiosity, I asked around.
I asked the question to some of my friends. Three, to be exact. First, I asked a girl named Viona. She just recently turned her relationship status to single and about to enter the fun-crazy single life. The question I asked her was, “Would you give your number to a stranger?”
Her answer was, “It depends on how he looks like and the way he talks to me. Of course it gives an additional point if he’s handsome. But he can’t be too flirtatious. Knock it off! Actually, why not? He could be a potential business partner.” She laughed.
I asked another person. Her name is Lidya and she has a long response about this topic.
She talked to me about the privacy issue that she is concerned with. She also said something about her trust issue and how she believes in deeper connection in order to fully trust somebody. Well to sum up her answer, I can tell that she has learned not to give her number right away to somebody in order to protect her privacy. So in this case, she preferred meeting somebody in dating apps that allows us to talk to somebody without sharing any personal pieces of information (except for names. Although some apps allow us to make up names as well.). The key to open her number is great conversation and honest talks.
Just to be fair, I also asked a guy about this. He’s currently looking for a girlfriend and has experienced asking and giving numbers from/to strangers. Evan said that confidence is a very important aspect of his consideration. Despite the requester’s appearance, she also needs to look confident in doing so. Otherwise, she won’t look interesting enough to Evan.
I also made a simple pole on my Instagram a while ago about this. Out of more than a thousand followers, more than 50% of them said they would do it under unique circumstances. If I translate those answer into a consideration list, it would look like this:
1. Nice appearance
2. Physically good looking
3. How the person smell
4. Nice greetings
Of course, I had some who told me that it’s not a big deal. They would give it right away and if they don’t like them, blocking feature from social media apps would come to the rescue. Well, that’s a way to see it of course. But how about you, though? Would you give your number to a stranger?
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Illustration by @maria_alethea