How good are you at flirting? Some got pure talent in attracting other people, some have to learn hard to send the right message. Before I give you one of the most important body language tricks I’ve ever learned (yes, I was once a dummy), I want you to know that it’s okay to feel awkward. Most people are scared to be in that position and it’s completely normal. Today, we’re going to see that it’s actually not that terrifying. It is rather simple and it would make you feel better about yourself.
I am not saying that you should smile from ear to ear the whole night. Also, if laughing too loud when he’s talking to you about his dead dog; you would most probably see him walk. I know that (lol). Smile when he greets you and laugh when he tells you a joke (even when it actually doesn’t meet your sense of humor). There is nothing--let me repeat that again, NOTHING--good comes from being gloomy and grumpy.
First of all, a lot of sincere smiles keep you looking young. Forget those wrinkles you think you’re going to have. The only thing people are going to notice is how happy and joyful you are. Because smiles and laughs give you better pleasure in the brain than thousands of chocolate bars. Even the fake ones are good enough to boost your mood. So, take a good look at your own smile in the mirror before you leave to your date tonight.
On the date
“Hey! Nice to meet you. You look great…” he said.
Then I smiled (giggled a little bit) and replied, “You don’t look too shabby yourself, Sir!”
We ended up giggling together for a few seconds. Just that smiling moment to start with made the whole date easier to carry through.
Obviously what I said was completely flirtatious. Don’t worry, we’ll talk more about what teasing means when we flirt and how to do it on a different article. But I added a little bit of unexpected and unpleasant words on my response to get his attention. The smile before and after the comment supports the whole concept of my intention (which is to flirt). The smile makes the cheeky sentence work well.
He threw me a joke, “What’s Harry Potter favorite method of getting down a hill? … Walking! JK, Rolling!”
As much as I hated hearing that cringy joke, I laughed and said, “that’s the worst joke somebody ever said to me during a date. You killed me!”
“Damn! I really thought I got it. I’ll do better next time,” he said before bursting into laughter with me.
What just happened there? A complete honest response with a little bit of laughter makes everything sound better. Because basically, by laughing you indirectly show him your interest. Without having to say it, he’d know you like him and that you’re interested to see where this conversation going to go. I guarantee, he won’t hesitate to continue the conversation for you because he won’t ever see that laughter goes away from his sight.
By smiling and laughing, you let him know for sure that you’re having a good time. It’ll be easier to make him feel the same way, hence a date to remember.
Experiment this yourself by the levels
Take it easy, lovers. You don’t need to expert this right away. Nothing happens overnight anyway (unless they’re healthy oatmeals). You can choose your own level and see if it works for you:
1. Start by getting yourself a friend by smiling a little bit more. If you find it hard to even talk to the person you like even though you’re in the same circle, this level might be the best for you. Try to bring up an open question to the group. When he answers your question, act out your curiosity and be interested. Put on a sincere smile and repeat that for a few break sessions. Let’s see if he now opens up and talks to you more. Make yourself a friend first.
2. This next one is when you’re ready to attract somebody to talk to you, even if he’s a stranger. Look at him and catch his attention. When he looks back at you, smile! Let him smile back before you look away and act shy. I did it and I can’t wait for you to tell me how it turns out for you.
3. Let say you’re having a date now and you’re trying to smile and to laugh the whole night. At the end of the date, end it by saying something like, “Oh my God, I can’t stop smiling I don’t know why. You get me very high. Thank you, goodnight.” Don’t try to explain or mention anything else. I promise, your date is likely to call you again and follow up for the second date.
However, try to pay attention to these things…
It’s important to always be aware of your feelings and emotions. Try to avoid showing too much negative emotion to make you look cheeky or eternally positive to make you look cheerful. Know yourself and the situation and decide what to put on your face wisely. Lastly, practice your smile. Even though you know how to smile but in some conditions, your lips movement could look more like a smirk than a smile. That could lead him to a wrong interpretation.
So, lovers! Put on your best smile and enjoy your date. Don’t worry, a smile is very contagious. You both will have a good time!
Illustration by @maria_alathea